Obituary

Common Sense Died 24/7/365
In America’s Heart, USA

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common Sense who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and life isn’t always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more then you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (Adults, not kids are in charge). His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a six year old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; however they could not inform the parents when the student pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth & Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights and I am a Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

If you still know him pass this on, if not join the majority and do nothing…